No comments yet

What Will You Be Doing During the Apocalypse Tomorrow?

The Mayan long count calendar ends tomorrow, which, as you may have heard, has caused a few people to wonder if  December 21, 2012 will be the end of the world. With that in mind, I have asked several celebrities what they plan to do tomorrow as a comet strikes the earth, triggering tsunamis, firestorms and a zombie apocalypse.

“I will be ready to soar into space to destroy any meteor which threatens Planet Earth–unless it came from Krypton.” (Superman)

“Thank goodness this is happening before gun control legislation is passed. I will be at my front door with my AK-47, so you survivors don’t get any ideas.” (Ted Nugent, Rocker, Hunter & NRA member)

“I will make a documentary of this disaster which, of course, is the fault of conservatives everywhere.” (Michael Moore)

“Please do not misunderestimate the potential of this threat.” (George W. Bush)

“I will be doing an Armageddon show at the White House, gangnam-style!” (PSY, Korean pop singer)

“I am already preparing a lawsuit against the universe.” (Jim “The Hammer” Adler, Texas Injury Lawyer)

“We will be the first responders at any disaster tomorrow–but before we help, can you fill out this paperwork?” (Craig Fugate, FEMA Administrator)

“The end of the world is tomorrow? I will plant an apple tree today.” (Martin Luther)

Post a comment