How Downsizing my Stuff Downsized my Pride

  My wife and I have decided that we have too much house. Funny thing, too much house usually means too much stuff. Over the last couple of weeks, we have gotten rid of books, clothing, knick-knacks and a set of china we don’t use anymore. And there’s still stuff everywhere, hiding...

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Hex, No, We Shouldn’t Curse!

  Brock Turner, do you feel anything yet? Witch Melanie Hexan and 12 of her coven sisters hope he does. On Tuesday, they held a Facebook event that put a hex on Turner, the Stanford University swimmer who was recently sentenced to six months for sexual assault. The curse, which...

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Monkeying Around

  I was recuperating from major surgery when I heard about the kid sneaking into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. My kneejerk reaction was disgust toward a negligent parent, until I remembered the time my wife and I lost our firstborn son at a clothing store in the mall. For several minutes,...

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Stoking the Fire

    Here in Texas, we love our barbecue. We’ll get into arguments with folks from the Deep South about the glories of brisket over pulled pig with vinegar sauce. It’s fightin’ words around here if you tell us that slow-smoked beef isn’t true barbecue. According to this website, “the Lone Star State...

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The Here-and-Now God of Pentecost

  Pentecost is the red-headed stepchild of Christian observances. Think about it: we get prepped up for Lent and Advent, buying devotional books and planning our spiritual disciplines. At Easter and Christmas, we deck ourselves out in holiday finery, sing triumphant hymns and prepare big family meals. Pentecost? The preacher wears a...

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Let’s Get Naked!

  Today is “World Naked Gardening Day.” I kid you not. It is a day whose proponents invite people “to tend their portion of the world’s garden unclothed as nature intended.” I enjoy being naked in the shower, but I ‘m  pretty sure I don’t want to tend my daisies as bees buzz around...

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3 Ways We Depreciate People

  Over the past few weeks, I’ve been downsizing my magic inventory, selling tricks and props that I haven’t used in quite a while. In the process, I’ve discovered that magic items are a lot like new cars: once you drive off the lot, their value drops like a rollercoaster....

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The Prize That Never Goes out of Style

  Did you hear? Cracker Jack will no longer bury prizes in their snack boxes. Instead, consumers will find a digital code that will link to a “baseball-inspired mobile digital experience.” The famous sailor boy mascot and his dog, Bingo, will also get an update. The public reaction was swift and brutal....

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Begging off the Banquet

  Last week, I invited my Facebook friends to list excuses they’ve heard to blow off church.  I received over 40 replies! There were the predictable excuses such as church is boring, it’s full of hypocrites, I don’t like the preacher’s sermons (that one really hurts, especially when it comes from your wife)....

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Do You Need a Remodel?

  It’s that time of the year in Texas again – storm season! It’s the time when Yankee transplants nervously scan inky skies and demand to know why we don’t have basements down here, while the natives dash outside, whooping and hollering, to shoot video of funnel clouds. We’ve been in our house for over seven years...

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